Jason Madison Murray - Online Memorial Website

A CREED TO LIVE BY

Don't underestimate your worth by comparing yourself with others. It is because we are different that each of us is special.

Don't set your goals by what other people deem important. Only you know what is best for you.

Don't take for granted the things closest to your heart. Cling to them as you would your life, for without them, life is meaningless.

Don't let your life slip through your fingers by living in the past or for the future. By living your life one day at a time, you will live all the days of your life.

Don't give up when you still have something to give. Nothing is really over until the moment you stop trying.

Don't be afraid to encounter the risk. It is by taking chances that we learn how to be brave.

Don't shut love out of your life by saying it's impossible to find.

The quickest way to receive love is to give love, the fastest way to lose love is to hold it too tightly, and the best way to keep love is to give it wings.

Don't dismiss your dreams. To be without dreams is to be without hope: to be without hope is to be without purpose.

Don't run through life so fast that you forget not only where you've been but also where you're going. Life is not a race, but a journey to be savored each step of the way.

Good Morning                 

This is God

Today I will be handling all your problems.

Please remember that I do not need your help.

If the devil happens to deliver a situation to you

that you cannot handle, DO NOT attempt to resolve it.

Kindly put it in the SFJTD(something for Jesus to do) box.

It will be addressed in MY time, not yours.

Once the matter is placed into the box, do not hold on to

it or attempt to remove it. Holding on or removal will

delay the resolution of your problem.

If it is a situation that you think you are capable of

handling, please consult me in prayer to be sure that is

the proper resolution.

Because I do not sleep nor do I slumber, there is no

need for you to lose any sleep.

Rest my child.

If you need to contact me, I am only a prayer away.

  This is from your neices and nephews over here in Fisk. Raven thought this was a beautiful picture. We thought you should have it. We know you are over there on the horizon, where everything is beautiful and glorious. Love Always

Hey Jason, its me again. I know Ive already written a memory today but I have another, and as I said once before, I dont have alot like some, so when I remember something good, I like to share it with everyone else. This memory goes back to before John and I had even had our first baby Camryn together. We were living together in Success. We just had Raven. Well, I beleive it was another holiday, Lord I dont remember which one. I just know that there was a big get-together at Kevin and Vicki's. John and I had taken Raven over. He still had his truck. We had been there for awhile, and John was acting like a jerk, as he did quite often back then lol. We had forgotten to bring diapers for Raven and she had on a messy one for quite awhile when I mentioned to John we needed to go home and get a diaper. John was NOT going anywhere till he got ready!! OK, showoff time. Well, as hotheaded as I was, I was going home, so I got in his truck and went home. After awhile, here come Jason and his dad bringing John home, boy were they mad!! Especially after they had seen that I was busy packing John's things and putting them in HIS truck. After quite a bit of arguing and yelling, I went in the bedroom and was doing more of my "packing" for John, when Jason came in there. And right off, I just knew I was gonna hear more "crap". But I didnt. He came in and talked to me and tried calming me down so we could all "talk this out." He was good about that. He told me, "Go easy on him, he's not used to having a woman around, he doesnt know what he's doing. He will figure this thing out, and it will get easier for him, just be patient and give him some time." We both laughed a little bit, everyone calmed down, and just as he said, things got better. Jason always knew what to say to make things better. He was always looking out for John. Jason is a Great Man and will be missed.

Jason, I was talking to John and remembering the time at the River when we all went floating on those spaghetti things. Man, some fun times we had. You guys barbqued and you had your boat, and took us all for a ride. We arent sure about going to the river much anymore,but everytime we barbque, we are reminded of you. Which is what got us on the subject of you again today. When John comes home Wednesday, he says all he's gonna do is barbque. LOL, he loves doing that. He says he learned alot from you about barbquing and just plain cooking. I remember going to your house and when I walked in most of the time, you and John would be in the kitchen cooking. Some of your Chili or rice or whatever else you could come up with. I also remember that when I first met you guys, you had a tea pan, YES, JUST FOR TEA, that never got washed, for fear that it would take the tea taste out of it. YUK lol, I thought that was the weirdest thing. But then I noticed Uncle Kevin had one too. Man, you were all soooo close when I met you guys. Almost inseperable. How things are soo different from back then. I met John in 2000. Things have changed so much since then. What we wouldnt give to have that all back. But, we know that life changes every day, families change, people change. Nothing stays the same. We should always remember the good times and take pictures while we can to cherish forever.

I was up the other morning and decided to watch a tape of Jason, I picked out our wedding and just had to share this memory...During the ceremony the music kept messing up, and as I walked down the isle people were just looking around wondering who would fix it...John went over and tried but the radio station was bleeding over the tape we had playing, you have to imagine..I was 5 months pregnant with Marissa and I was a bundle of nerves with tears steaming down my face, once I got to Jason I was overcome wih emotion and if it had not been for John Brian I think I would have passed out from all of it...but in JB fashion he made me smile, He said later that he couldnt just stand there and watch me start to cry LOL, It meant alot to have John Brian by his side...there was not anyone else that could have done it or should have that day. The other memory I have is from the day Marissa was born, how proud Jason was and how he teared up as she was being delivered and told me to push..she was almost here, and the big ol proud daddy grin when she didnt cry, but just looked around at everything, he said ( look she is a good baby already) and ran out of there and left me to tell everyone before they even had me ready LOL. Minutes after he and my dad walked out with her and showed her off to everyone as they moved me into recovery..one person came in to check on me ans sat with me during that time and again it was John Brian to see how I was doing...that meant so much to me and I will never forget it, I will never forget those days, and I know that even though we werent meant to be together in the end, the time we did have together was priceless and will be cherished as long as I live.

`

I was putting your picture in a frame earlier and Raven says, Mom, I miss Uncle Jason. I said yeah I know honey. She says, He's our favorite guy isnt he mom. I said, Yes, He's a great Uncle. She said, Daddy misses him too. Yes, he's daddy's favorite brother.

She tries to understand but how does a 7 year old understand when a 30 year old has a hard time. I guess you are on her mind alot too, because she sure talks about you alot.

Hey Jason, John is only working and he will be coming home soon. But this lonely feeling I get sometimes couldnt compare to the unimaginable lonliness in your family. The kids ask every day, somtimes two to three times a day, whens daddy coming home. He's only working!!!! I couldnt nor would I ever want to imagine having to say for the rest of our lives, daddy will not be coming home today. That is just too sad to think about. I pray for your kids everynight when I go to bed. It is just not right for them to have to deal with this. They are so young and dont deserve that. It just makes me sad. John went to MEXICO last night. He said Jason would love this man. Its sooo cool here. How much we miss you and always will. We got that picture of you yesterday and the book of poems made for John. He cant wait to get home and see them. We are going to frame the book after he is finished reading it, so nothing ever happens to it. There was a house on fire out here yesterday and last night I was thinking about that and what we would do if ours ever caught on fire. We would grab your picture and book first, as well as the picture of your grandma we have sitting out. Then of course if we had time, pictures of our kids, and finally the TV. Cant do without that TV LOL. Anyway, thinking of you always. Your friend

Hey Jason the coolest thing happened to us today. A few weeks back when I wrote that poem about you, it was for school, and I got a letter in the mail today. Here is what it says:

Dear Brenda,

            After carefully reading and discussing your poem, our Selection Committee has certified your poem as a semi-finalist in our International Open Poetry Contest. Your poem will automatically be enter into the final competition held in April 2007. As a semi-finalist, you now have and excellent chance of winning one of our 104 cash or gift prizes. including the $1,000.00 Grand Prize. You may even win the $10,000.00 Annual Grad Prize! A complete list of prizes is enclosed.

AND THATS NOT ALL

     In celebration of the unique talent that you have displayed, we also wish to publish your poem on its own page in what promises to be one of the most highly regarded collections of poetry we have ever published...

IMMORTAL VERSES, scheduled for publication in Summer 2007, will be a classic, coffee-table quality hardbound volume.

You must decide if you would like to have some personal information about yourself and your poetry. You are welcome to include the story behind your poem, which will be printed on a page by itself directly across from your poem.

Again, congratulations, Brenda. We look forward to the publication of your poem in Immortal Verses.

P.S. Brenda, you should be genuinely proud of your accomplishment. Of the thousands of poems we read each year, only a fraction can be published.

Also, was written this on another page:

we receive thousands of entries. Those entries that exhibit a unique perspective or artistic vision are advanced to semi-finalist in the contest. The following prizes are awarded: First prize $1,000.00, 24 second prizes of solid silver medals, and 79 3rd prizes of bronze medals. An annual Grand prize of $10,000.00 in cash is also awarded each year.

 

Jason, it may sound like Im bragging, and actually I am!!! Im so proud to be able to have a poem written for you in a book. And, on the other page, a story of you. You would be so excited and proud, and Im sure you are. Your dad, sister and brother all want a copy of the book!!! I think they are excited and proud too. It doesnt matter at all if I win anything. It started out to be for a scholarship. And I chose to write about you, now its just wonderful to have it put in a book. I know you deserve this and much more. The credit isnt for me, its you and of course, it would never have even happened without the Lord above. Noone has put this poem in a book but God himself. I took the papers over to your dad. He said the poem was really good and wants to put it on pretty paper and save it with your other stuff. I didnt know what to do but cry. How nice to be able to do something for you. This is my tribute to you Jason.  We sure do miss you Jason. And Love you. Your sister in law.

 

I THINK OF YOU

Sometimes late at night, I lie in bed and think of you.

During the busy days I wonder if this is all true.

I know your gone from this time and place.

How I long again to see your face.

We will meet again one day soon.

So, until then I lay here talking to the stars and moon.

People take for granted the life they live.

But you never did, we knew by the love you would give.

With that crooked smile, how we miss you so.

Where you are now, one day soon, is where we all will go.

Wait for us in Heaven, save us a place.

We long to feel your embrace.

Hey Man, Your mom came over  and had supper with us last night. John's not back yet. He says Sunday he will probably leave, that gets him home Tuesday evening. He's been gone too long. Your mom and I got a chance to talk, the kids were getting ready for bed and we were having tacos. I got her some ice and she said, "Jason always did like cubed ice." Its amazing the little things that remind them all of you. Of course I dont have near as many memories as everyone else but I love hearing them. I was chasing the kids around getting them to clean their rooms and get in the tub. Your mom laughed and said I remind her of when all her kids were at home. I love your parents. They are really great. I like when your mom comes and visits with us. Im very lucky to have them so close to us. Raven got bee stung the other day and wouldnt let me touch it. She wanted me to call Grandma and tell her to come over and this morning when I pulled her loose tooth, she had to call grandma and let her know it FINALLY came out. They help us so much. The kids just adore them. I think your mom misses having kids. I am very thankful to them for John and for treating me like part of the family. The kids pray about you every night. They talk about you too when they see pictures of you. Im really glad they were old enough to know you. I will always make sure they remember who you are and how great you are. Love, Brenda

How is it up there? I called your brother earlier. He was just getting off work. He sure misses being at home. We talked about you tonight and he had alot more to say tonight than usual. He is so dissappointed at how things have turned out. He says he wishes he could just go back and talk to you more than he did. That things just kept getting in the way of that. And Im some fault of that, for him not spending more time with you. But he understands why and he's not mad, he just wishes it could have been different. Your canoe trip, I didnt want John to go, didnt want him to be away very long, we laugh now about that, since he's gone quite a bit more now than he was before. He said everything went wrong on that trip!!! Talk about memories, thats one he says he will never forget. He says he will probably not be floating down current river anymore. Too many memories of you. I think he feels so much better now after our talk tonight. He has so much anger he is holding onto. He is opening up and talking about it alot, and Im very thankful Im the one he confides in. Your Uncle Jim also called him today and he was happy to hear from him. I think he misses that part of your family. They are really great people. Real sweet. Man, remember when we had to move from Nixa and you and Kevin and Nathan and your dad came up and moved us. I had just had Colton and could hardly move, much less try to pack. Lord, what a time we had. You thought it was sooo funny that we were ready to move, with the Uhaul there and everything and nothing was packed!!! So you guys just started putting stuff in the truck just like it was. That was a verrrrrry hard time for us and we were so thankful you guys came up and helped us. I also remember the time I was happiest to see you. Colton had just sliced his foot open on a piece of glass. John and I came home from work to take him to the hospital. He was in the emergency room screaming because the nurses were holding him down. You came down the hallway, seen John and said, is that yours I hear screaming all the way down the hall. You came in and stayed with us and helped till they had him stiched up. 9 stiches in his poor tiny little foot. We were so glad to see you. You had just gotten there to start work. Actually there are quite a few memories of us being in the ER and you coming in. Raven quite a bit, and a few times with Camryn, then with Colton. When we took Colton, the day at the funeral home and he hit his head, it was the hardest thing ever, we half expected to see you walk in there, and ask which kid now!!!

Here's a memory that will always bother us. Its not a good memory, but as we said before, memories were not always good. The day was January 31st. John was home. I was at work. Nordyne. It was about 7:30, maybe 8:00. I got a phone call. I went to the office and was told to sit down, which I didnt. The first thing I thought was one of the kids hadnt woken up from the night before. I already had a sick feeling in my stomach. John gets on the phone and was crying Get home now Jason is dead, in a car wreck. Thats about all he could get out. I hurried home, about having a wreck myself. I stopped at Johnny Pickens for him to come over before I got home. I was afraid. I didnt know what kind of shape his family was in. When I got home, the kids were just standing around looking at their daddy and John was in the kitchen and just grabbed ahold of me and cried. His parents were already on their way to the hospital. Here come Johnny. We got ready and went to the hospital and I dropped John off so I could take the kids somewhere. When I got back, Rose, John and Donna were sitting in the emergency room while everyone else was standing around. Rose was just babbling on and on and John and Donna wasnt saying much. Clarissa kept trying to call and get ahold of someone and noone was able to talk so I talked to her as much as I could, because she was all alone all the way in Virginia. I was glad she called me. She was upset. When we went to the funeral home, and actually got to see you, looked like you were just sleeping. You looked so peaceful. Man, what a hard next couple of days!!! We had to drive by the highway where you were to get to the funeral home. They were doing a recreation of the accident and we drove right through it. John decided to have an extra song played at your funeral. Dream On by the Oakridge boys. People looked around laughing for some reason. There was so many people at the funeral. It was the worse week ever. Your kids wanted to go look at you. They left things in your bed. John closed the top. The kids let balloons fly up to you. It was sad, and we always think about it.

Hey Jason. Your brother left yesterday for Texas. He was suppose to stay with your aunt last night but when he got down there, he couldnt get ahold of her. He is driving by himself this trip. Well, he just kept going and made it all the way to Temple. He drove about 10 hours yesterday. He was tired and it had started to rain, so he went and got a bite to eat, and rented a hotel. Well, he called me last night. He was upset. He'd been sitting in the hotel room all alone, he couldnt get the tv to work, so it was quiet and he started thinking about you, and driving and he was getting upset. He was scared of the driving and having a wreck and him being all alone. I had to tell him things would be ok. I promised him he would be coming home soon. And he would be fine driving. Who am I to promise such a thing, but what else was I suppose to say. He says he hasnt been away in so long, he was just thinking and getting a little sad. He has another 7 hours to drive today to get to his destination. McAllen. Almost all the way down in Mexico. I am so excited for him, to get to travel, but he's just a bit scared. He would love to hear from you now, he sure wanted to talk to you last night. He went through Ft Worth yesterday and I told him that if he can do that, he can surely get through San Antonio. He's just nervous when it comes to driving. The last trip, he had someone with him but this time, its all him. I keep telling him to talk to God, and even to you. That you can hear him. He took his bible with him, but he cant really read it while driving. He sat in the hotel and talked to me about 4 hours last night. I think just the sound of someone's voice made him feel better, he finally started drifting off to sleep so we got off the phone. Maybe when he gets where he's going, the other guys can keep his mind off things. And it wont be long before he is comes back home to us. I gave him a keychain before he left, it said Never drive faster than your guardian angel can fly. So, he knows you are with him, as God also is watching over him.

Its so beautiful outside. John and I have barbqued about every day this week. Its been sooo nice. Yesterday, I listened to your dad and brother reminisce about your younger days and after we came in last night, John told me stories till he couldnt think anymore. So much he wants to say on here, he isnt sure where to start or what is appropriate for everyone to read. I laughed at him when he started telling about your teen years and how crazy you guys were. He misses that. He talked about stuff your parents dont even know about. He says,""What do I tell about, man there are so many things to say. I can get on here and say something that only me, Jason and Scotty would know." I told him he should get on here and tell his memories. And soon he will, I think he's just not ready yet. We did however listen to some songs from The Oak Ridge Boys that makes him think of you. Theres the song "Ill be true to you."  We had a good laugh about that one. And a pretty good conversation. Then there's the song he played at your funeral, "Dream On" I think that one makes him sad. He also listens to "Trying to love Two Women" and "I wish you could have turned my head and left my heart alone." I dont know what all they meant to the two of you but he listens to the cd alot now. We went out today and worked in the yard again and went over and mowed your dads yard for him. We are both burnt. LOL. We even thought about taking a drive down to the lake. Tomorrow is Raven's birthday. Of course you already know this, since you can see everything now. I bet the world looks so big to you now!!! As you know, your grandpa isnt doing very well. We are all praying for him. Brother Vernon came to visit us today. Him and his wife stayed for a bit and talked with us. John leaves soon for his trip. I will miss him while he's gone. He is a bit nervous but he's grown up soo much, Im sure he will be fine. How he always wants to call and let you know where he's going and what he's doing. He's so excited and proud of himself, as the rest of us are. Your parents are proud but they also miss you so much. Your dad talks about you all the time. He talked about how good you could barbque today. Its sad to hear them talk. They miss you so. John wants to go have family pictures made, I dont know where that came from but he's been stressing about when for days now. He's just so funny. I guess this is it for now. It seems like Im writing a whole lot for just a sister in law, but your brother loves reading these so Im going to keep writing in it. And one day, there will be more in here from him, and someday your parents too. They have started getting on here and reading it a bit too.

Well I had to write this in today, They had a sale at Big Lots so I went ahead and made Easter Baskets for the girls, I put in a cross statue that says Faith on it and wrote from daddy too, knowing Jason is in heaven is so reassuring to her ( Marissa)  right now, she knows she will never be permanently seperated from him and eternity will be sooner than it was for her yesterday. I cant remember Marissas first Easter very well ( sorry to say) she was only 2 1/2 months old, but I do remember Jason giving her a lick of chocolate off his finger and giggling because she liked it so much LOL ( wonder where she got the love for the stuff )  I will never forget or let her forget all those little things.

Hey Jason. I know I write on here alot, but Im sure you dont mind. This morning John and I have been working out in the yard. Its such a beautiful day. You brought the sunshine to us all today. You and God are working together now we just know it. Anyway, John and his dad were reminiscing about times when you guys were all living at home and he told the two cutest stories I have heard. The first one, was when Jeannie was about 3 he said. Your dad was outside raking leaves, and he let us know that he HATED raking leaves. It was one of the only times he did that. Jeannie come outside and said, "Dad, can I help you?" And he said sure, put the leaves in this bucket so she started picking up leaves and after about 3 handfuls she says "Daddy, Ill be right back, I have to go put lotion on my hands." She went inside and didnt come back out. He said she never asked to help rake leaves again!! Then there was the time when John wanted his very first full set of baseball cards. Your dad told him that he didnt have the money to just give him for a set of baseball cards but he would "loan" him the money if you promised to co-sign. He said at the time that you were working. John Brian asked him what co-signing meant and he explained it to him. He said John got this look on his face and your dad said, "Now John, if Jason has to pay for them baseball cards, he gets the cards." John was laughing at this story and remembers it. So, he finally talked you into co-signing and you guys sat down and had a form written out and everything. Such businessmen huh. John worked off the money by sweeping the garage.

That is so funny. I just thought I would share it. Its been a good day for him today. He's leaving again soon and he's kinda scared about all that driving but his friend Wade is going to be with him, which scares me with his driving but I know you are up there still watching over him like you always did. Just dont get any ideas man, he's not ready to go yet. Or at least Im not ready to say goodbye to him yet. Ok. Anyway, Just thought I would share the stories and let you know how things are around here. John and your dad are talking about this summer already. All that they have planned. How funny they are when they get together. Such a beautiful day, I think we will go back outside. Bye

Jason, How's heaven today? Things down here are really good. John and I decided last night to roast marshmallows and hot dogs. We had a great time. Colton kept dropping his marshmallows in the fire and Raven set her pants on fire. She sang us some campfire songs and John got on the trampoline with me and Colton and we wrestled. After we got the kids put to bed, we turned on Fresh Prince and watched and laughed so hard we almost had all the kids up again!!! What a great night. I am so thankful for my husband and my kids. Jason, you would sure be proud of John now. He is so different.

Jason, There is an Andrew Collins that is in heaven. Im sure you know him. His family wrote to us and we lit a candle for them also. It is nice to see others on here and we know you read these just as often as we do.

We focus our time on each other, our children and this site. That is what matters the most to us. We are still going to church and things are going really good for us all. We pray it stays this way. We seem to understand what is most important in our lives now and put everything else behind us. Noone can change that or come between what we have come to understand about life. So, until we see you again, we know you are not far from us.

Well today I have had alot of good memories...the other day I found a heart shaped jewelry box that Jason had made for me in High school...I was so excited to turn it over and see those inicials, I now how something to give Marissa on her 16th Birthday that dad made her himself, I wont forget the day he gave it to me, or the day we found out we were gonna have  Marissa either, we were so young and scared but he got more and more excited as each day got closer. He spoke to her while she was in my belly alot and told her to hurry up and get out of there, cause everyone wanted to see her, and he was right, He couldnt get enough of her...I thought he was litterally gonna eat her up LOL. I know he loved all his kids the same way and they will all be better people because of the love he showed them , Thank you Lord for Jason, our time with him will always be precious and NEVER forgotten.

John wanted this page made for you to help him keep good memories from fading and I helped him make this page because I also thought it would help him.  He has gone to the doctor and is doing really good now. He is a different person. Always sweet and kind. I know you are proud of the way he is. He is wonderful. He just doesnt know what to think or even do anymore. He is getting some peace and relaxation which is helping his mind really well. He talks about you alot and that probably helps too. Jason, im hoping pretty soon he will be able to get on here more often. Well, Ive talked enough. Miss ya man.

Jason, Today Michael and Amanda got married. Of course, you already know this. The wedding was beautiful and Camryn and Tyler looked like little angels up there. They did AWESOME!!! It was so sweet. John and I didnt stay afterwards. He was having a hard time. He said this was the first "family" get together since the funeral. It was hard for him so we left directly after. We hung out in Doniphan with some old friends of ours till it was time to go get your dad. Then we took the kids for ice cream at McDonalds. But you know we didnt leave Doniphan without stopping and seeing you first. Man, Do we ever wish you were still around. At least John had a reason to go to Doniphan. Now, its just crazy to go see you in a cemetery. Not what we ever thought in our wildest nightmares!!! He hates driving by the road you live on. It was not easy going to Doniphan today nor will it ever be again in the future. I know you are watching him from way up there. And Im sure he knows it too. Family togetherness will not come so often for us anymore. He doesnt get so excited like he used to. I just remind him that he's got me and the kids and his parents right next door to help him through this all. We are always there for him. He just doesnt know what to do without you. Love ya Jason

Most of my memories of Jason will be from living in the big town of Fisk and going to Twin Rivers High School. I graduated with his brother, John. I have known Jason, John and Jeannie for what seems to be a lifetime. They are all very kind hearted. Jason was always one to have a contagious smile:) He will always be in our hearts! His family will remain in my prayers.