Memories
This is the look I want to always remember...the proud dad, I will always be blessed by this picture and am so glad Jeannie took it.
Brenda's sister found this and gave it to me. I like the poem. It really fits us. I miss you Jason. I cant figure out how to get it on the front page or it would be there. But this is better than nothing. Love John
This is the poem:
Please don't tell me not to cry
Please don't say there was a reason why
You don't know what I am feeling
Or how much I hurt
The wet spots are from tears on the collar of this shirt
You think I should go on with life
Forget about it and be strong
But deep down I am sad, and I don't want to go along
I don't expect you to understand why
For no apparent reason I break down and start to cry
My life has changed forever, you see
And that is why I am not acting like the same ole me
So please don't try to act like nothing happened
Because it's changed my life forever
I will never be the same again
Not today, not tomorrow, but never
The best thing you can do for me is just be there
Just like always, my friend
My broken heart is hurting bad
And it will never mend.
I took sis to the grave Saturday and let her put some flowers on there, I hadnt been there since the funeral and it was nice to see so many flowers and the bench there was so nice, before we left she wrote DAD in rocks. I took her to the Lake for a picnic Monday and told her about how we used to go to peoples creek when I was only 16 and how loud his old blue chevy truck was, it hit me then that she is only 3 years younger than I was when Jason and I met...WOW it just doesnt seem possible that she should be as old as she is.
hello family and friends. I am doing better than i have in a while. I havent wrote on here very much because i have been dealing with things in my own little wierd way. but i am thankful for my wife brenda for keeping the site going. She has with my approval created a very beautiful tribute to Jason. But anyway i wanted to talk about the time that me, Jason and Kyle went to watch the cardinals play the reds. it was a cool day, the last day of september ( my birthday) any way the cards won 4 to 1. That day was the first time i have ever tasted a hot dog from bush stadium and it was so good. Well today my dad came over and we cooked hotdogs on the hotdog cooker i bought him for christmas. The hotdogs were so good. It made me think of that so i just wanted to share it with everyone, I will try to write on here more often in the future. love to all oh and by the way hello uncle jim ,im back thank you for every thing all the phone calls really help me out.
Jason, I am very proud to say Madison was born this afternoon. And I am also proud that I got to share in that joy, excitement and happiness. It was a long 2 days for them but she has arrived. I have pics but wont show them on here till I know its ok with Josh and Emily. I feel blessed to be part of this family. It felt great being part of it today. Everytime Josh came up to tell us how far things were coming along, his excitement and his frustrations, I felt so proud. They really make me feel like part of the family. Earlier we had a scare, Camryn got choked on a lifesaver and I ran her down to the ER. I was so scared. After we found out she was fine, and got ready to go, here come Aunt Vicki. I was very happy to see her. And when we walked out to the waiting room and there stood Aunt Jill, Uncle Kevin, Ashley, Donna and John all waiting to see if Camryn was ok, I really did feel like part of their family. They are all wonderful and Im very thankful to know them. I was blessed to know you even for just a short time. We miss you and wish you could have been here to share this special day with us.
Thank you so much for that Brenda...Marissa has been asking me if daddy knows she was chosen for 1st chair in the sax next year and I just have to believe that he does see the good things that happen to her. I will always remember the proud look he had on his face when she was in the room...he was proud of all his kids and loved them with all his heart and it shows in the people they are growing up to be.
I found this poem and thought I would share it with Marissa and Miranda. I love you girls. Love Aunt Brenda.
Daddy's Day at School!!!
Her hair was up in a pony tail,
her favorite dress tied with a bow.
Today was Daddy's Day at school,
and she couldn't wait to go.
But her mommy tried to tell her,
that she probably should stay home.
Why the kids might not understand,
if she went to school alone.
But she was not afraid;
she knew just what to say.
What to tell her classmates
of why he wasn't there today.
But still her mother worried,
for her to face this day alone.
And that was why once again,
she tried to keep her daughter home.
But the little girl went to school
eager to tell them all.
About a dad she never sees
a dad who never calls.
There were daddies along the wall in back,
for everyone to meet.
Children squirming impatiently,
anxious in their seats
One by one the teacher called
a student from the class.
To introduce their daddy,
as seconds slowly passed.
At last the teacher called her name,
every child turned to stare.
Each of them was searching,
a man who wasn't there.
"Where's her daddy at?"
she heard a boy call out.
"She probably doesn't have one,"
another student dared to shout.
And from somewhere near the back,
she heard a daddy say,
"Looks like another deadbeat dad,
too busy to waste his day."
The words did not offend her,
as she smiled up at her Mom.
And looked back at her teacher,
who told her to go on.
And with hands behind her back,
slowly she began to speak.
And out from the mouth of a child,
came words incredibly unique.
"My Daddy couldn't be here,
because he lives so far away.
But I know he wishes he could be,
since this is such a special day.
And though you cannot meet him,
I wanted you to know.
All about my daddy,
and how much he loves me so.
He loved to tell me stories
he taught me to ride my bike.
He surprised me with pink roses,
and taught me to fly a kite.
We used to share fudge sundaes,
and ice cream in a cone.
And though you cannot see him.
I'm not standing here alone.
"Cause my daddy's always with me,
even though we are apart
I know because he told me,
he'll forever be in my heart"
With that, her little hand reached up,
and lay across her chest.
Feeling her own heartbeat,
beneath her favorite dress.
And from somewhere here in the crowd of dads,
her mother stood in tears.
Proudly watching her daughter,
who was wise beyond her years.
For she stood up for the love
of a man not in her life.
Doing what was best for her,
doing what was right.
And when she dropped her hand back down,
staring straight into the crowd.
She finished with a voice so soft,
but its message clear and loud.
"I love my daddy very much,
he's my shining star.
And if he could, he'd be here,
but heaven's just too far.
But sometimes when I close my eyes,
it's like he never went away."
And then she closed her eyes,
and saw him there that day.
And to her mothers amazement,
she witnessed with surprise.
A room full of daddies and children,
all starting to close their eyes.
Who knows what they saw before them,
who knows what they felt inside.
Perhaps for merely a second,
they saw him at her side.
"I know you're with me Daddy,"
to the silence she called out.
And what happened next made believers,
of those once filled with doubt.
Not one in that room could explain it,
for each of their eyes had been closed.
But there on the desk beside her,
was a fragrant long-stemmed pink rose.
And a child was blessed, if only for a moment,
by the love of her shining star.
And given the gift of believing,
that heaven is never too far.
Take the time...to live and love.
Until eternity. God bless
I just want everyone to know, I did Not write this. I just found it and thought it was nice to share with Marissa and Miranda.
LETTER FROM HEAVEN
To my dearest family, some things I'd like to say
But first of all, I want you to know that I arrived OK.
I'm writing this letter from Heaven;here I dwell with God above,
Here, there are no more tears of sadness-there is just eternal love.
Please do not be unhappy just because I'm out of sight.
Remember that I am with you every morning noon and night.
That day I had to leave you, when my life on earth was through;
God picked me and hugged me and he said, "I welcome you!"
"It's good to have you here again; your were missed while you were gone;
As for your dearest family, they'll be here later on.
I need you here so badly; you are part of my great plan,
There's so much that we have to do to help our mortal man."
God gave me a list of things that he wished for me to do,
And foremost on the list was to watch and care for you.
And when you lie in bed at night, the day's chores put to flight.,
God and I are close to you in the middle of the night.
When you think of my life on earth and all those loving years,
Because you are only human, they're bound to bring some tears.
But do not be afraid to cry; it does relieve the pain,
Remember there would be no flowers if we didn't have the rain.
I wish that I could tell you, all that God has planned
If I were to tell you; you wouldn't understand.
But for one thing is for certain, though my life on earth is over,
I'm closer to yu now that I ever was before.
There are many rocky roads ahead and many hills to climb,
But together we can do it by taking one day at a time.
When you're walking down the street and you've got me on your mind,
I'm walking in your footsteps, only half a step behind..
And when it's time for you to go...from that body to be free.
Remember...you're not GOING; You're just COMING home to me!
Copyright-Ruth Ann Mahffey
"He Only Took My Hand"
Last night while I was trying to sleep
My son's voice I did hear.
I opened my eyes and looked around.
but he did not appear.....
He said, "Mom,you've got to listen,
You've got to understand;
God didn't take me from you all,
He only took my hand.
When I called out in pain that night,
The instant that I died,
He reached down and took my hand,
and pulled me to His side.
He pulled me up and saved me,
From the misery and pain.
My body was hurt so badly.
I could never be the same.
My search is really over now,
I've found happiness within.
All the answers to my empty dreams,
And all that might have been.
I love you all and miss you so,
And I'll always be nearby.
My body's gone forever,
But my spirit will never die!
And, so you must all go on now,
live one day at a time, just understand!
God didn't take me from you,
He only took my hand."
Author Unknown
As each day goes by, theres a piece of my that dies. I am missing you more every day. Its too hard sometimes. I look around at all that I have, and without you its nothing. There was a time when I cared and loved but all there is now are memories. There has been a big hole put in my heart for you. I will love you for all eternity. But thats not good enough for me. I miss you Jason.
Jason, your graduation was so hard to be at. It was very hard to see everyone getting their pinning and seeing your chair stand empty. Its heartbreaking.
Last night was Joey's graduation also. It was great. He got awards and scholorships. We are proud of him. Afterwards, we went to Aunt Jill's and had cake and talked. We didnt get home till after midnight.
Jason, I pray this gets easier to deal with. Its very hard right now. I dont know what to do sometimes. I miss you so much. I love you Jason.
The picture of Jason and Marissa is a great one. I thought I would use it for the front page. Thank you Christi for the picture and the words. Hope you like the picture on the front Jason, as Im sure you do. You are a great dad. And it shows.
Well guess what came in today??? Marissas yearbook, and guess whos picture is in there.....a picture of a proud dad watching his daughter play the sax in the Christmas concert!!!!! It is a great shot of Jason in the audience watching , I know that the Lord had that put there, there were many other shots they could have used and out of the 5 on that page 2 of them have Jason in them. I will never forget that night as long as I live and how he came even though he was so tired from working and school. I wish so many times that I could tell him how much I apriciated him for always being there and being such a good dad, I only hope he knew I felt that way.
Jason, these arent memories but we always remember you and these are beautiful like you. What a beautiful person you are and we sure miss you alot.
Jason, its easier for me to put these on here for you than it is to write how I feel. But, you already know how I feel and thats all that matters to me. I love you and miss you. What I wouldnt give to just be able to call you one more time, or see you or just even know your only a phone call away if I ever want to talk. This has been the hardest thing to ever have to deal with. Love you always brother!!!
Today I am remembering that smile....the smile that lit up a room and made everything seem right when it just wasnt, Thank you Lord for keeping these memories fresh until we see that smile again.
It is true, not a day goes by that you are not thought of. We miss you Jason. We have driven by the site where the crosses are 4 times in the past 2 days. It doesnt get any easier looking at it. As the days and weeks pass, it doesnt get any easier either. Thinking of you always. Brenda
We will miss you. Love Raven, we are sorry you are gone.
Jason, we are sad to say the Cardinals were delayed today. Last night around 12, 12:30, Cardinals pitcher Josh Hancock was killed in a wreck. We have been watching it on Tv today, they are so sad. You know, it is hard going through this, but they have to play tomorrow. They are gonna need prayers. We will pray for them all. Take care of Josh up there. Im sure he's fine now.
PRAYING FOR ALL THAT HAS LOST A LOVED ONE!!!
Jason, we went to church today. Brother Vernon preached today on Christians. He said something today that made me think alot. You see people all the time that say they are true Christians and then you see them by their actions, and wonder "do we want to be christians like that?" Brother Vernon said his neighbor didnt want to know God because all the people he had ever seen being "Christians" were not what he wanted to be. We do see this all the time and I dont think we should look to others as what we want to be like. Sometimes people are
fake and pretend to be something they are not around certain people but show their true colors around others. It was a good sermon today. And Jason, we know you were a christian. You were always kind and helpful to people. I wonder why your job was done here on earth so suddenly. I remember going to church with you and your family when your dad preached here in Fisk. I loved hearing you guys sing and play the guitar. I always wished John would join you playing. Missing you and thinking of you.
Jason, We are all missing you today as always. Colton loves going to Grandma's Everyday now and keeps grandpa busy with "THE TRACTOR". I think it gives them something to do. Of course, nothing will fill the hole in their hearts from losing their son but a grandson does some good for them. The excitement on Coltons face when he hears grandpa is going to get "THE TRACTOR" out, is just sooo funny.
Marissa's concert was beautiful last night. That kind of music is soothing and is wonderful to hear. Marissa does a great job, Ive heard her play by herself one time when Jeannie and I went to her house to visit. She played a bit for us and it was really great. Jason, I know you were proud of her and would still be now. She is sweet and does wonderful. Im glad to be a part of her life, not only to know her but to be her Aunt Brenda. Love you Marissa.
This morning while I was busy and the girls were in the kitchen playing barbies together, John comes in to tell me that "Ken doll is sad because his brother died and little kid barbie was going to see if Uncle Jason was alive." I dont know why the girls chose to play babies this way, but it must mean Uncle Jason was on their mind again. John told me stories today about you. The times you were moving and how you would chose places big enough for him also and that you wouldnt move unless he got to go too. Its nice hearing stories.
Jason, Back when the Cardinals won the World Series, I ordered John a STL Cards Train. He couldnt wait for it to come in. He was so excited. He just knew you would love it. Well, guess what, it just came in. So, here's a pic.
To Jason, from you brother and sister in law. Miss you Jason
Total Memories: 98
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